


Nobody Can Know

by 27summer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: For Quinntana Week Day Two- Roommate. Santana and Quinn would have a perfect friends with benefits relationship if only they didn’t have to deal with anyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody Can Know

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through 4x14 I Do

Santana collapsed onto the bed next to Quinn, laughing heartily. “Was it good for you?”

“Shut up.” Quinn elbowed her side.

“Hey, watch it. I’m naked here.”

“Oh, I know.” Quinn licked her lips, eyes traveling down Santana’s body.

“Want to go again?” Santana asked, her body flushing from Quinn’s heated stare.

“I-” Quinn was interrupted by the alarm on her phone and she reached to turn it off.

“Come on.” Santana rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what was coming.

“We’d better be getting dressed,” Quinn said as she stood up and began to pull her clothes on.

“We can make it a quickie.” Santana smiled invitingly, patting the bed next to her.

“No way. Rachel and Kurt will be home soon.” Quinn shook her head firmly.

“Would it really be that bad if they know? It’s not like Ms. I’ve-got-two-gay-dads and the pretty pony would really care that we’re hooking up.” Santana turned her back to Quinn, searching for her own clothes. She knew what the answer would be. What the answer always was.

“It would be that bad. They’d never let it go. ‘How long has this been going on? How serious are you?’ I don’t want to deal with it. I like how it’s just us.” Quinn crossed the room, wrapping her arm around Santana’s waist.

“This is nice,” Santana admitted, hating how weak she was. All Quinn had to do was touch her and she forgot every objection she had. It made arguing almost impossible.

“It is. And I don’t want other people to wreck it. Please say we can keep it a secret for a while longer.” Quinn pressed a kiss to Santana’s neck.

“We can.” Santana spun around, holding onto Quinn. “But not forever.”

“No. Just for now.” Quinn smirked. “Besides, this whole secret thing is kind of hot.”

“It’s very hot.” Santana kissed Quinn, intending it to be quick but it turned into something more. She slid her hand under Quinn’s tank top, running her hands up her back.

“Mmm, no. If we start that, it’ll never stop.” Quinn tore her lips away.

“Is that really a problem?” Santana asked, unable to keep the smirk off of her face.

“If we had unlimited alone time, it wouldn’t be. But we don’t.” Quinn pointed sternly at her. “No more teasing.”

“You like it when I tease you,” Santana said under her breath, a smile on her face. She might not like all of the secrecy but being with Quinn was enough right now. And she wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.

\-----------------

Silently fuming, Santana took a sip of her drink and tried not to glare. It would do no good to lose her temper and flip out just because Quinn had the attention of every man at this party. Quinn was just her friend and friends didn’t get angry when slimy theater dorks put their hands all over their friend. This was pathetic. She was pathetic. She was finally in a place where she could be herself and she was still hiding. How did she let herself get talked into this?

“Hey, Santana, are you having a good time?” Rachel came up to her and smiled.

“Oh, sure.” Santana rolled her eyes. “By the way, when did I agree to have a party here?”

“You don’t remember Kurt asking last night when you and Quinn were changing clothes. We’d just come home from classes and you said yes.” Rachel looked at her in confusion.

“Oh, yeah.” Santana flashed back to Quinn touching her everywhere when Kurt tried to talk to her. She hadn’t exactly been focusing on him.

“Besides, it’s fun and Quinn’s certainly having fun.” Rachel nodded across the room to where Santana had been trying to avoid looking. “I’m just glad she could come this weekend.”

“Yeah,” Santana said, grinding her teeth. She didn’t want to seem jealous but just the thought of those douche bags touching Quinn made her want to punch somebody.

“Are you jealous? You shouldn’t be. I’m sure we can find someone for you. In fact, there’s a girl in my Voice Theory class who’s just perfect for you,” Rachel said excitedly.

“Absolutely not. I don’t need you begging for dates for me.” Santana stared at Rachel in horror. Was she really so pathetic that even Rachel felt sorry for her?

“Fine.” Rachel rolled her eyes. “I was just trying to help.”

“Well, don’t. I can take care of myself.” Santana headed across the room, spotting a hot girl. Quinn wasn’t the only one who could flirt. At least maybe she could get an ego boost from a stranger since the girl she actually wanted didn’t seem to be able to spare her a single glance. Maybe then she’d feel better.

\--------------

Santana broke away from the girl she was talking to. She just couldn’t do it. There was a beautiful girl who seemed interested in her and she couldn’t even pretend to be into her. After seeing Quinn looking a little uncomfortable, she made her way over to her. Maybe Quinn was tired of being hit on by unworthy guys. Maybe they could sneak off and get some time to themselves. “Hey, Quinn. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Mark. Mark, this is my friend, Santana.” Quinn smiled thinly.

“Ooh, two beautiful girls. I wonder what I could possibly do with that,” Mark said.

“Right.” Santana fought the urge to sneer at him. “Could I steal Quinn away for a moment?”

“What?” Mark asked in surprise.

“Santana, not right now. Can this wait?” Quinn looked at her pleadingly.

“No, actually, it can’t. It’s important.” Santana crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn’t giving in this time.

“Well, that’s too bad. I’m talking to Mark right now.” Quinn stared harshly at her.

“Fine. Right. Whatever.” Santana spun around and took off, ignoring Quinn calling after her. She got the point. She wasn’t so pitiful that she’d beg for Quinn to pay attention to her. She had a little pride left.

\---------------------

It was a little cold outside but Santana wasn’t going back inside. She’d rather freeze on the fire escape then watch Quinn throw herself at some undeserving guy. She was so stupid. How could she do this again? It was supposed to be a fun hook up but she ended up falling hard. And Quinn didn’t. And she couldn’t give Santana what she needed. Just like Brittany. She knew she wasn’t being fair, she’d made her own mistakes with Brittany but she couldn’t help but feel like the seventeen year old who had poured her heart out, only to be rejected for some boy.

“Santana?” Quinn climbed outside and sat down next to her. “What was that all about?”

“Nothing. Why don’t you go back inside and talk to Mark?” Santana snapped.

“Come on. You know that meant nothing. Just keeping up appearances.” Quinn scoffed. “I don’t understand why you came up to me in there. Were you trying to stake your claim?”

“Obviously not.” Santana rolled her eyes. “I don’t have a claim.”

“Santana.” Quinn placed her hand on Santana’s back. “I thought we were just having fun.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to be devoted to me.” Santana sighed. “But I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you not sleep with me in the afternoon and fuck some guy at night.”

“That’s not fair. We were just talking. What’s the big deal?” Quinn demanded.

“The big deal is you’ll hang off of Mark but won’t even fucking talk to me!” Santana shouted, rapidly losing control. She didn’t want to scream but she was so angry.

“Would you stop? Rachel and Kurt are right in there,” Quinn said, gesturing toward the window.

“Oh, who cares? They wouldn’t even care. It’s not like they’d kick me out or stop talking to you. And if they knew, we wouldn’t have to steal time together like we’re doing something wrong.” Santana stared at her pleadingly.

“I- I can’t.” Quinn shook her head helplessly. “I just can’t.”

“Why? I’m not saying you have to tell your mom or the rest of our friends or that we have to be exclusive. But why can’t Rachel and Kurt know we’re together? They’re my roommates and our friends,” Santana pleaded.

“It’s just too much. I’m not ready.”

“Ready? I’m not ready. You think I really wanted to fall for my closest friend again? I didn’t. But it happened and we have to deal with it.” Santana walked away, needing room to breathe. This wouldn’t end well. Quinn always ran when someone got too close to the real her. Santana understood that, it was probably why they got along so well.

“Please, Santana. Can’t we just go back to how things were? Things were good.” Quinn came up to her, wrapping her arms around her waist and burying her face in Santana’s hair.

“No. No.” Santana forced her way out of Quinn’s arms. “You’re not going to seduce me into backing down. Not this time.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“It is,” Santana insisted. “And maybe we could keep things quiet if you didn’t flirt with other people.”

“It would look weird if I didn’t,” Quinn said weakly.

“Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.” Santana looked Quinn square in the eyes. “Let’s just forget it.”

“Forget it?” Quinn repeated, with a confused frown on her face.

“This. Us. Whatever this is.” Santana gestured between them. “This is over.”

“Don’t- don’t do this. You don’t want to end this.” Quinn’s face was white and Santana felt a surge on happiness. At least Quinn cared a little bit.

“I don’t but I can’t go on like this. It’s all my fault. I didn’t mean to have feelings for you. But I do and we’re both stuck dealing with them,” Santana said, feeling tears stinging her eyes.

“Santana, don’t,” Quinn said helplessly.

“Look, I’m going to go. I’ll be back later. You can stay in my room; I’ll sleep on the couch.” Santana turned, making her way back in the loft to find everyone staring at her.

“Santana-” Rachel tried to grab her arm but she yanked it away.

“Don’t. I don’t want your pity.” Santana left quickly. She’d walk around for a while and maybe everyone would be gone by the time she got back. She just couldn’t face anyone after dealing with the mess that was her love life.

\--------------

It was quiet when Santana returned to the loft but of course her nosy roommates were waiting for her. “I’m exhausted. Let’s skip the platitudes.”

“Santana, we just want to help,” Rachel said.

“No, you want gossip. ‘When did this happen, how long has this been going on, did you really thing Quinn would want to be with you?’ Well, you can forget it.” Santana put her hands on her hips, glaring at both of them.

“You have to admit that it’s all a little surprising,” Kurt said. “We’re just curious how you got Quinn to agree to this.”

“What are you implying?” Santana narrowed her eyes.

“Quinn’s never shown interest in women before.”

“I don’t force or trick her into anything,” Santana said hotly. She was going to strangle his skinny little neck.

“We know that,” Rachel shot Kurt a look.

“Consider your previous relationships. Brittany’s not exactly the smartest person in the world. You have a history of manipulation,” Kurt pointed out.

“Oh, I’m going to-” Santana reached out for him but Rachel got in between them.

“Kurt, you’re not helping. Why don’t you go to bed and let us talk?”

“Fine.” Kurt sulked his way out of the room.

“Thanks for that. Beating the crap out of him might make me feel better but it probably wouldn’t have helped.” Santana sat down, scowling.

“No. I’m sorry about him.” Rachel placed a hand on her arm.

“Whatever.” Santana shrugged. “I still don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.”

“You’re really not going to ask?” Santana stared at her. She couldn’t believe that Rachel would actually drop this.

“You won’t say anything if you don’t want to. But I do know how to listen if you want to talk,” Rachel said simply.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Santana couldn’t believe she was considering confiding in Rachel but she needed advice.

“Do you really like her?” Rachel asked.

“I do.” Santana laughed. “I don’t even know how it happened but I- I think I might love her.”

“Oh, Santana.” Rachel threw her arms around her but Santana froze.

“Don’t. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.” Santana sighed. “It’s my own fault. This was supposed to be fun. There weren’t supposed to be any feelings.”

“Is that realistic? I mean, you and Quinn have been friends for a long time. Do you really believe that Quinn can have sex with someone without it meaning something?”

Santana frowned. “Did you two talk?”

“We did but I can’t tell you anything she told me.” Rachel sighed. “I think she’s confused. I don’t think she’s thought about where you two would go beyond what you’re doing now.”

“I’m confused, too. But I’m not the one who expects us to hide like a dirty secret.” Santana knew it would be difficult but she couldn’t let Quinn call the shots anymore.

“I- I’m not the one you need to talk to.”

“I can’t. Not yet.” Santana shook her head.

“Just think about it.” Rachel patted her shoulder as she stood up. “Good night, Santana.”

“Night, Rachel.” Santana thought for a moment. “Hey, wait.”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for talking to me.” Santana backed away. She wasn’t exactly used to being vulnerable.

“You’re welcome.” Once she was alone, Santana leaned her head against the back of the couch. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t talk to Quinn right now. It would only lead to an argument and she didn’t want to fight. She could understand Quinn’s confusion but she couldn’t leave herself open for hurt again. It was too much to think about just yet. She’d go to sleep and deal with it in the morning. Maybe she’d find some fantastic idea that would solve all their problems and everything would be better.

\--------------

The light was barely streaming through the window when Santana woke up the next morning. She sighed. She still was completely clueless. She didn’t want to force Quinn into something she didn’t want but she couldn’t go back to how things were. She wouldn’t hide anymore. And she also wasn’t ready to deal with Quinn just yet. Santana sneaked quietly into her room and changed clothes quickly, focusing on avoiding looking at Quinn. It would only make things more difficult. She just needed to get away from everything until she had some idea of what she wanted to do. She was a coward but that was the only solution she had at the moment.

\----------------

Santana sprawled out on the ground, her eyes closed. She probably looked like an idiot but she needed to relax. This was the first moment she hadn’t felt like she was under pressure in a long time. It had actually been like that for months. She hadn’t realized how many feelings she’d been shoving down until she’d let them all out.

“Santana?”

Santana opened her eyes to find Quinn staring nervously at her. “Quinn? What are you doing here?” She scrambled to stand up.

“Rachel told me you come to Central Park when you want to think.” Quinn bounced on her feet. “I want to talk to you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Santana began to panic. She wasn’t ready for this to be over and she was afraid that it would be if they talked.

“Look, just give me a few minutes. Then I’ll leave if you don’t want to talk.” Quinn bit her lip and Santana found it ridiculously adorable.

“Okay.” Santana nodded, briefly meeting her eyes.

“I messed up. I didn’t mean to but I focused so much on myself and how I was feeling that- that I didn’t consider your feelings at all. I’m sorry, Santana.”

“I don’t need you to be sorry.” Santana shook her head, trying not to grow frustrated.

“I-” Quinn cut herself off, talking a deep breath. “I am so confused, Santana. The way you made me feel- No one had ever made me feel like that before. It scared me. I tried to ignore it. At first, I focused on how good we were together. I didn’t want to think about anything else.”

“I can understand that. I wasn’t expecting this, either. But I don’t get how you could treat me like a dirty little secret.” Santana stared at Quinn, completely at a loss. She didn’t know how to feel. She wanted to protect herself but she totally understood Quinn’s uncertainty.

“I’m sorry.”

“Quit saying that!” Santana exclaimed. “You being sorry doesn’t help anything.”

“I-” Quinn shook her head. “I freaked out when we started talking about Rachel and Kurt finding out. I know they won’t care but it burst the bubble we were in.”

“Bubble?” Santana asked.

“It was just us, having fun, and I didn’t have to think about what this all meant.” Quinn met Santana’s eyes. “What it meant that I enjoyed this so much.”

“Quinn, it doesn’t have to mean anything.” Despite her resolve to stay strong, Santana reached out, touching Quinn’s face briefly.

“But it does. Santana, kissing you, making love to you was better than anything I’ve ever felt.” Quinn’s eyes filled with tears.

“Quinn, I- I don’t know what to say.” Santana felt helpless. She knew the confusion Quinn was going through. But there wasn’t anything she could do to make it better except listen to her.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. I’m just trying to explain why I flipped out earlier.” Quinn sighed. “But I didn’t need to hurt you because I panicked.”

“No, you didn’t. But it’s not like I handled it well when I came out.” Santana laughed. “Just ask Brittany.”

“Brittany?” Quinn asked, growing pale. “Are you still hung up on her?”

“No, no. I just meant that I ran scared when I first realized I was gay. It’s okay to be afraid. And I didn’t mean to push you into something you are ready for,” Santana said quietly.

“You didn’t. I wanted to be with you. I enjoyed it. A lot.”

“Well, I am pretty good in bed.” Santana grinned at her.

“You are,” Quinn agreed. “But that’s not why I’m here with you right now.”

“Why are you here?” Santana asked.

“Because I don’t want to ruin things between us. You mean so much to me.” Quinn drew in a breath. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” Santana grabbed her hands. “We’ll always be friends.”

“I don’t want to be your friend. I want more,” Quinn said bravely, even as she shook with nerves.

“I can’t continue how we were.” Santana shook her head, squeezing Quinn’s hands. “Hiding, freaking out because someone might see us together. Kurt and Rachel already know. There’s no going back.”

“I don’t want to go back. I want us to figure this out.” Quinn smiled hopefully.

“What does that mean?” Santana couldn’t let herself believe that Quinn actually meant what she was saying.

“I want- I want to be with you. To take you out to dinner. To- to romance you.” Quinn averted her eyes as she waited for Santana’s response.

“You mean be my girlfriend?” Santana couldn’t make herself say anything else. She was stunned. She couldn’t believe that Quinn was actually standing in front of her saying these words.

“Yeah.” Quinn leaned in closer. “Will you be my girlfriend, Santana?”

“And you understand what that means? That we’re not hiding anymore. People will find out.”

Quinn nodded. “I know and I’m terrified. But honestly, not being with you is even scarier.”

“If you’re my girlfriend, that means I can kiss you.” Santana put her hands on Quinn’s waist, tugging her even closer.

“You can.” Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut as Santana kissed her.

“It’s been less than a day and I can’t get enough of you,” Santana said in between little kisses.

“Me, either.” Quinn pressed her forehead to Santana’s. “I’ll probably freak out again but I’ll try not to hurt you. And I’ll definitely never run to some guy to hide from you.”

“Okay. Good.” Santana slid a hand up to stroke her cheek. “Promise you’ll always talk to me. I might not be able to fix things but I can’t help you if we don’t talk.”

“I’ll try. I’m not exactly good at sharing my feelings,” Quinn said.

“I know that. It’s not my favorite thing in the world, either.” Santana tilted her head, her eyes soft. “But this won’t work if we push each other away. And I don’t want to lose you. I think I’d be miserable if you weren’t in my life.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either.” Quinn pulled Santana even closer. “You’re so important to me. It’s like- you help me make sense of everything.”

“Really?” Santana couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. That Quinn really wanted to be with her. It seemed almost too good to be true.

“Uh-huh.” Quinn closed her eyes, resting her head on Santana’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to be with you. And- and you are wonderful. God, I sound like a total idiot.”

“You sound like Rachel,” Santana teased.

“Not funny.” Quinn pinched her side.

“But true.” Santana pulled back, looking directly into Quinn’s eyes. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“I don’t?”

“Nope.” Santana shook her head. “There’s no rush in figuring this out. We’ve got all of the time in the world. So long as we stick together.”

“I guess. It just feels like I have to have all the answers right now.” Quinn grimaced. “Rachel tried not to badger but I know she’s curious. And Kurt-”

“Kurt can go to hell. Our relationship is none of his damn business.” Santana was still smarting from his comments the night before.

“Did he hurt your feelings?” Quinn asked, brushing hair off of Santana’s face.

“He doesn’t matter,” Santana grumbled as a frown came over her face.

“No, he doesn’t.” Quinn smiled at her. “But he is your roommate, Santana. So maybe don’t hold a grudge forever.”

“I could do that. So long as he keeps his mouth shut.”

“So it’s not going to happen.” Quinn grinned and kissed her quickly.

“Probably not.” Santana grinned back.

“You know, Rachel told me she and Kurt had rehearsals at NYADA all afternoon. The apartment will be empty.” Quinn lifted an eyebrow. “You want to go take advantage of it?”

“Wow, sounds good.” Santana pulled Quinn’s face down to her own. “You’re so smart.”

“I do go to Yale.” Quinn slid her arm around Santana’s waist as they started to walk.

“Yeah, my girlfriend’s a genius.” Santana froze. They’d just talked about it but she was still afraid a label would freak Quinn out.

“She is.” Quinn nodded, poking Santana’s cheek. “I know this sounds weird coming from me but don’t worry so much. This is all going to work out, I just know it.”

“You’re right. I’m going to trust you. I’m not going to wait for the other shoe to drop.”

“Me, either.” Quinn smiled, pressing her lips to Santana’s cheek.

“Let’s go home.” Santana released a breath. This was a new day and things were working out. She and Quinn were starting over. She would enjoy every minute of it.


End file.
